Days like this…

The case manager at OHSU said that there would be something to enjoy about mom every step of the way. At the time I couldn’t imagine finding any joy in this disease, as I watch it ripping her away. I think I may even have rolled my eyes when she said it. I didn’t, COULDN’T believe her. I go there every day and spend time with her, just being with her, not expecting much. I tell her stories about my kids, stories about growing up, even stuff I never told her (like when a boyfriend and I broke into a boat house… stuff moms don’t need to know, really)… but I don’t expect her nowadays to respond with anything other than “mmm”s and “oooo”s, clearly not really with me in the conversation. I leave there every time sad and angry about what this disease is doing to the mother I love so very much. But not today. Today I found lots to enjoy about being in her presence.

Her long time friends Pam, Mary and Glenn have been hanging around entertaining her (and putting her to bed!) for the past few days. They have been so caring and wonderful to her, and I so very much appreciate the love they show her. Another long time friend, Rhonda, came today to visit. When I arrived today I walked into a party of friends who are so comfortable with one another from the trials of decades of friendship. As I sat down, I instantly realized that mom was really with it! She clearly was enjoying the party as much as everyone else! She was laughing appropriately at all of the stories and even sharing her own thoughts (mostly disjointed, but some were completely right on). Today it was, for the first time in weeks, clear she wasn’t worse than she was yesterday. I left with a smile on my face for the first time in so long. Ahhhh, such a nice feeling.

I know a lot of you come to check on this page frequently looking for updates, and I’m relieved to be able to post this upbeat update instead of the updates I’ve been avoiding posting for a week.